To celebrate Thomas Jefferson’s 267th birthday today I’m happy to share this wonderful guest post with you…

Virginia Unveiled

GUEST POST: by Ran Henry

Snow fell on the journey to Monticello, after a New Year’s Day wedding in Williamsburg, and Tom and Martha Jefferson unhitched the horses from the carriage to ride up to their new home and uncork some old wine. Henceforth, weddings in Charlottesville have been held in the Spring, Summer and Fall, on those crisp Autumn days when there’s no home football game at UVA.

So many couples marry within a day’s ride of the Jefferson’s place that we all must wonder: Does any town of 40,000 souls host more weddings than ours? What makes Charlottesville, Virginia – distinguished by bricks and ivy, encircled by estates and foxes – so romantic, yet practical, a mecca for weddings, and hope? Why do weddings say so much about the couples who plan them and the place they plan to wed?

Every two hours, on Saturdays during “wedding season,” couples walk into the chapel on the grounds of Mr. Jefferson’s University and say their vows. 140 couples won a lottery last year to marry there this year. Rent for the two hours is two hundred dollars if you are a current UVA student, three fifty if you have a university “affiliation” and seven fifty if you’re educated elsewhere and just smitten with the UVA chapel. If you can remember, on that altar, the day you gazed up at those gothic bells and vowed, “We’re getting married here,” that’s priceless.

That’s just one church, however emblematic, in Virginia’s historic, progressive heartland, where we congregate in meadows and vineyards and downtown sanctuaries on Saturdays. Keeping our ministers busy on Fridays, Sundays and Thursdays, too, inspiring the services of the Weekday Wedding Company (found in these pages). In this climate Mr. Jefferson called “salubrious,” that more days than not warms grapes and weddings, wineries around the Blue Ridge are booked nearly every weekend, next year. So are Beds and Breakfasts, outlying inns white as wedding cakes, resorts Mick Jagger wanted to sleep in, hotels and country club ballrooms in our social heart. So many choices for brides and grooms who journey here for the first or ultimate time. So many memories swept up at midnight, whisked away with the table linen, that can only be guessed at if you weren’t on the guest list.

Weddings around Mr. Jefferson’s university unite graduates of the schools of medicine, law, business and architecture, diplomats marrying between Islambad and Iraq, PR people who see our polo ponies from their office in Times Square, aspiring singers heading to New York for the honeymoon, couples from Richmond and Washington wanting mountains in their wedding pictures, UVA football stars marrying before the NFL calls, lawn care guys from Waynesboro and teachers at Stuart Hall in strapless champagne dresses requesting Zydeco music at the reception, missionaries who postponed wedding after wedding until the groom got his visa, airmen braving wedding parties wielding paper airplanes, crossed swords and toasts from fox holes, a couple who dreamed on a grade-school field trip of getting married at the Frontier Culture Center … to each other… and a couple marrying there because on Mapquest it was equi-distant from the guests.

Weddings around Charlottesville are in tents lit with chandeliers on a hill behind a farmhouse, with a Scotty dog dressed in a kilt carrying the ring, a recessional of “Freebird” played on the harp, requests for the Good Old Song and no Hokey Pokey and a charter bus bringing guests back from the best reception ever down a dirt road in the dark. You can get a deal on those buses if you are affiliated with UVA.

Weddings in Charlottesville are like weddings everywhere. Friends and family gather, photographers pose the wedding dress on the hanger, best men practice toasts, ushers joke and usher, bridesmaids titter and tear up, parents stoically hold roses, scraps of welcome speeches and big bills while their childrens’ lives flash before everyone’s eyes. And a couple stands at the altar, vows all written, plans finalized, gazing into each other’s eyes, hoping to God this works.

Even Thomas Jefferson, buried a stately walk from Monticello beside his wife Martha, must have sometimes wondered why he vowed to her, a widow when they met, that if she were gone he’d never re-marry …

You must make choices, to get to your wedding day. And those umpteen arrangements, from the people you place on the seating chart to their outpouring of rice, birdseed, bubbles or sparklers, tell about one couple, one day, and reverberate forever.

Though winter weddings are off our calendar we love to see that white veil lifted.

Ran Henry teaches writing classes he designed for the Bachelor of Interdisciplinary Studies Program at UVA and has filmed, photographed and inspired dancing at more than 1,600 weddings. His next Virginia Unveiled column tells about a storybook wedding around Charlottesville that could be yours. Tell why at rrh3z@virginia.edu.

Contact Information for Ran & Linda Henry of Blue Mountain Weddings:
~ website: www.bluemountainweddings.com
~ phone: 434-227-1253
~ e-mail: RanandLinda@bluemountainweddings.com

Guest Post #2 from the The Event Company

It seems that the rehearsal dinner trend this season is anything but your typical seated dinner!  Our clients are saving that for the reception & using the rehearsal dinner as a time to host an event that is unique, creative and that represents who they are as a couple.  Here are a few of our recent favorites-

Southern Supper
When couples select Virginia for their wedding it is often a destination.  Many clients come to us wanting to create a menu for their rehearsal dinner that will really welcome their guests to the South.  We suggest  including- Smoked Pulled Pork with Jack Daniels BBQ Sauce , Chicken Satay Skewer with Spicy Virginia Peanut Dipping Sauce, Virginia Ham and Honey Mustard on Miniature Buttermilk Biscuits, Shrimp and Grits, Southern Corn Pudding and if the time of year is right- Local Apple & Peach Pie. It’s also fun to serve Virginia Wine, Locally Brewed Beer and maybe even hire a Bluegrass Band!  Cheers Yall’

Bluegrass Bands & Local Beer by Moving Art Productions

Friday Fiesta!
What tastes better on a hot Summer night than Fajitas & Margaritas?  We recently did a Fiesta themed dinner complete with a custom Margarita bar, colorful linens and a sombrero for each guest.  Menu favorites-  Ceviche Shooters with Lime Juice and Green Chile Peppers, Mini Roasted Vegetable Quesadillas with Cilantro Sour Cream and a Full Fajita Bar.  A frozen Margarita machine, colorful straws and of course mini umbrellas are all nice additions!

Fajita Bar (left) by Rob Garland Photography & Ceviche Shooters by Jen Fariello Photography

Cajun Crawfish Boil
The groom was from Louisiana and provided his family’s recpie for Boiled Cajun Crawfish.  He asked us to make a ‘milder’ version as well and we understood why when his dad suggested displaying a fire extinguisher next to their family’s version so that guests could tell the difference.  They were spicy (and a little messy) but their guests coulsn’t get enough!   In addition to the Crawfish & Potatoes, the menu included- Jambalaya with Ham & Andoulie Sausage, Grilled Corn with Herb Butter and Small Beignets with Powdered Sugar.  Guests were given warm, lavendar infused towels following dinner and although we didn’t do it at this event, custom bibs would have been a hit as well!

Invitatation (left) by www.sandscripts.com & Bib by www.myexpression.com

In addition to  unique menus, we are also seeing these trends in rehearsal dinners this year-

GAMES!
No matter what the menu is,  we are seeing more interest in making rehearsal dinners interactive by including games & activities.  Our favorite this Fall is Cornhole- you can even get a customized set to commemorate your big day!

Corn Hole by Jeremy Igo Photography

SMALL DINNER, BIG PARTY
Whether the goal is to save money, fit into a smaller venue or to create a more intimate environment, many couples are opting for smaller rehearsal dinners and then inviting all of their guests for a welcome party later in the evening.  These often feature creative desserts or late night snacks vs. a full meal.  Some ideas- Sliders, Mini Grilled Cheese, Mac n Cheese Martinis, Rice Krispy Treats & Smores.

X Lounge

Want to find out more? Take a peek at our website for images from previous events, inventive menus and unique presentations. And be sure to check back here next month for more of the latest in upcoming culinary trends, photos, creative presentations and more!

Bon Appétit,
The minds behind The Event Company

Contact Information for The Event Company:
~ website: www.theeventco.net
~ phone: 434-974-6500
~ e-mail: smotley@theeventco.net or jsheffield@theeventco.net

Guest Post #6 by Kathryn Kieffer of Festive Fare

Every season I see different styles…from very simple to high-end glam, and color often plays an important role. It is always fun to see brides, event planners, and others bring in their invitations, or dress swatches. From a sales perspective it is helpful to keep up on what “Martha Stewart Weddings” is showing and checking out the popular colors for weddings at jcrew.com. The pantone fashion forecast is also one of my favorite resources.Part of designing a successful tabletop look is understanding how all the components of design come together. Linens are a base on which you build. Glasses add height and sparkle, chargers and napkins anchor your eye, and the chair creates a boundary! All of these can be an option to inject color.Having had several requests for plum and avocado, I have assembled some personal; favorites as well as some elements of upcoming weddings. Umbrella grape stripe linens with the Avocado dot plate would be such a fun look for a post-wedding brunch! And New Stripe Eggplant with Bravo Stemware would look great for an outdoor wedding in September or October. Mixing and matching other things like Tulip Stemware, Fuchsia satin, Amethyst Sheer, Beaded napkin rings, etc…give you the options to pick one statement making selection to reinforce the color you want to emphasize. I also think that the Topaz’s in Valentine and Loden are fantastic!I have found that roses and navy are also more common than they once were and I love Four Seasons Spring plaid with Sevres antique peach plates! Seeing the table through rose colored glasses, like Pale Pink Lido on top of Pink French Pleat is awesome! The important part of designing any look with color is to be willing to try a few things. While you may think that only the perfect shade of pale pink will work, there are some fantastic pink napkins, glasses, and chiavari chair cushions to introduce into the mix. I love working in the showroom and re-inventing tabletops!

Festive Fare 1745 Broadway St., Charlottesville, VA
~ phone: 434-296-5496
~ e-mail: kkieffer@festivefarerentals.com
~ website: http://charlottesville.classicpartyrentals.com

If you’re planning a wedding in the Charlottesville area, the Charlottesville Wedding Directory will make your life so much easier… check it out… and happy wedding planning!

Guest Post by Barb Lundgren

Today I’m happy to share a guest post from Barb Lundgren of Barb Wired, LLC, one of the Charlottesville Wedding Blog’s wonderful sponsors.  If you’re thinking of hiring a wedding coordinator be sure to read on!

Maureen and Geoff
April 18, 2009

At the beginning of the planning process, Geoff was opposed to hiring a wedding coordinator. He told his then-fiancée that they had plenty of time to plan, could do it themselves and, since he was a guy he admits, had a list of excuses.

Geoff wrote me to share his feelings after the wedding, and to make sure that others didn’t waste a lot of time contemplating this decision. Not only did they entrust me with their wedding planning and direction, we became the best of friends. This would be a first, and probably the only time, that I have had a groom recess the aisle saying to me “I love you Barb, I really do”, before he embraced his bride in the vestibule.

Maureen and Geoff were extremely decisive and organized from the beginning. However, this was a destination wedding with few familiar contacts in the area. There were many details to oversee, but they had chosen some of the best vendors around and I could see it was going to come together beautifully. The weather was picture perfect that day as we set the ceremony at the UVA Chapel. From the gorgeous vistas of King Family Vineyards; to the impeccable tastes and service of 20 South Catering; and the floral design of Amy Webb, the guests were more than impressed with the reception settings. What a treat when Cav Man arrived for a visit during cocktails!

The night got even better as one of our favorite wedding bands “The Dickens” played all of the favorites and everyone was on the dance floor. We sent the happy couple off with a “sparkling” tribute at the end of the evening.

There are many special couples in my life. Maureen and Geoff stay in touch whenever they come to Charlottesville and look forward to moving here some day. I look forward to that as well. And from Geoff — “It’s hard for me to say what I value more, the incredible job Barb did from start to finish – ensuring a flawlessly executed wedding from the rehearsal and dinner through the big day – or the fact that we found someone so incredibly special who we knew from the outset truly cared about not just what we wanted, but about us as people.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Jack Looney Photography

Contact Info. for Barb Wired, LLC Event Management
~ website: www.barbwiredllc.com
~ e-mail: barb@barbwiredllc.com
~ phone: 434-531-3247

If you’re planning a wedding in the Charlottesville area, the Charlottesville Wedding Directory will make your life so much easier… check it out… and happy wedding planning!

Guest Post by Peter Markush of the Plum Blossom String Quartet

Planning the music for your wedding ceremony can be challenging but also very rewarding. Your first decision is whether to use live or pre-recorded music. If you choose live music, you have to decide what instrumentation you want, then find and hire musicians who play those instruments. Finally, you will need to determine which events during the ceremony will be accompanied by music and choose specific musical selections for those events.

As is true of many aspects of your wedding, many of these choices will be influenced by your budget. For the most part, the more musicians you hire and the more of their time you require, the more you will have to pay.

If your budget is limited, be creative with ways to make your ceremony music special. While pre-recorded music is generally the least expensive option, the right solo musician can add that special touch that only live music can and still not cost you an arm and a leg.

To save money, consider asking family or friends who are musicians if they might be willing to play as a wedding gift or at a discount, or for room and board or other barter. While professional musicians are less willing and able to do this, sometimes an amateur musician who has a relationship with the bride and groom can lend special meaning to the ceremony.

Another way to save money is to have the ceremony musicians also play for the cocktail hour and/or reception. While these different situations often require different styles of music, some musicians are versatile enough to make it work, and it is generally cheaper than hiring separate groups to handle each situation.

The Plum Blossom String Quartet

If your budget allows for it, a good rule of thumb is to hire the best and most experienced musicians you can afford. If two string quartets appear to be comparable but one is 30% cheaper than the other, there’s probably a reason for that. Experienced musicians tend to be better prepared and generally conduct themselves more professionally.

Of course, don’t judge musicians solely based on price. Get recommendations from booking agents, wedding planners, and other wedding professionals such as caterers and photographers. Friends and family are also a good source of information.

Most wedding ceremonies have music for the bridal processional and the recessional. Other ceremony events that are commonly accompanied by music include prelude music while guests are being seated; the seating of the mothers and grandmothers; the wedding party processional (sometimes there is a separate piece of music for the bridesmaids); and the candle lighting. There may also be one or more musical interludes.

Unless you have specific requests, the musicians will generally choose appropriate prelude music without input from the bride and groom. For the other events, the musicians may provide you with a repertoire list of musical selections for you to choose from. If you have trouble deciding, your ceremony musicians will generally be happy to offer their suggestions.

On a personal note, I’d like to say that weddings are a great opportunity for musicians like me to be part of something special while making money doing what we love to do. So thank you to all the brides and grooms out there, good luck, and congratulations!

Contact Information for Peter Markush and the Plum Blossom String Quartet:
~ website: www.plumblossomstringquartet.com
~ phone: 434-295-6367
~ e-mail: peter@stringblossomstringquartet.com

If you’re planning a wedding in the Charlottesville area, the Charlottesville Wedding Directory will make your life so much easier… check it out… and happy wedding planning!

Guest Post #2 by Kathryn Kieffer of Festive Fare

There are lots of ways to make a statement with your table settings without blowing your budget immediately and I would like to show you some ways to make your rental and décor budget stretch more.
First, prioritize. Think about what rental items hold the highest priority. Do you have your heart set on a chiavari ballroom chair? Go for it – but opt for a less expensive glass or napkin. Linens give you a LOT of bang for your buck!  While an individual piece of glassware or flatware adds up when you think in terms of per person, an awesome linen can be divided among 8 – 10 of your guests so the cost is incremental. If a charger is just slightly out of your budget, here are several ways to spice up your place setting.  A napkin ring adds interest and can pull in accent colors and really tie the whole look together.  Another way to fill the setting is with a crisp napkin folded under a menu card or favor. I love stemware and will always choose a fabulous pattern for the table.  Only setting 2 glasses (water and choice of wine) will cut down on the number of pieces you need for the tabletop and you get to keep those gorgeous stems! If you are having a buffet it is not necessary to splurge on the plate as it will not be set on the table it will be stacked on the buffet.
Just some of my favorites and I have lots more ideas… but I’m sure the economy is already recovering!

Festive Fare
1745 Broadway St., Charlottesville, VA
phone: 434-296-5496
e-mail: kkieffer@festivefarerentals.com
website: http://charlottesville.classicpartyrentals.com

Today I am so pleased to start a series of guest posts from Kathryn Kieffer of Festive Fare, the most complete party rental company in our area.  Once a month Kathryn will be sharing her inspirations and ideas on creating beautiful wedding looks for brides and grooms planning their events in the Charlottesville area.  I know you’ll love Kathryn’s posts… enjoy!

~ Guest Post by Kathryn Kieffer ~

Having been in the party rental business for years, I always start feeling Spring fever well before Spring comes. Brides come in all winter long picking their looks for Spring and Summer weddings. While flip flops are still a way off I am pulling linens to go with the first blooms of spring and while cradling my hot coffee to ward off the chill I am showing glasses to hold blackberry iced tea. This is the time of year where I wear dark denim and sweaters while setting a table with crisp cotton organdy over pale pink. The Spring looks are always welcome in the showroom at Festive Fare. This year we wanted to share some of our favorites…

Martha Stewart calls the perfect Spring 2009 palette Pink, Orange, and Yellow in the Winter 2009 MS Weddings. And I couldn’t agree more! Mango Tango embraces all these colors and with a white wood chair and lace china it couldn’t be more perfect!Text text The Pantone Fashion forecast,  has bold fuchsia and super lemon among the colors for spring. Our fuchsia and canary satin mixed with Pucci Pucci is begging to be used for a lounge style after party! With signature cocktails in Silhouette…how sleek is that?
My favorite? Today is Balboa Natural, super clean stripe in shades of neutral. The biggest challenge I have with this cloth is deciding whether I love the white, cream, or silver chiavari. This is a fabulous wedding look for the modern bride.
Please stop by the Festive Fare showroom to see my favorite spring looks and pick yours!

Festive Fare
1745 Broadway St., Charlottesville, VA
phone: 434-296-5496
e-mail: info@festivefarerentals.com
website: http://charlottesville.classicpartyrentals.com

Dottie Di Liddo is a wonderful local photographer and new sponsor of the Charlottesville Wedding Blog (see Dottie’s link in the sidebar →). I am happy to feature Dottie here on the blog today with a guest post:

GUEST POST
by Dottie Di Liddo

I fell in love with photography at the age of 19 when I bought my first 35mm camera. I’ve seldom been seen without a hippie strap around my neck since then. (I know I’m dating myself!) My sons have been my favorite subjects and I’ve gravitated toward the candid shots from the beginning. Thus the name “Candid Art “I did start out in a children’s portrait studio, and I got oodles of practice in posing, lighting & working with families & children. Over the years friends have hired me to shoot their weddings, babies, family photos etc… After hearing “why don’t you do this for a business,” for years & years, I finally decided to give it a go. So here I am going to seminars, and bit by bit growing by word of mouth.

I enjoy shooting just about anything really, but I really do love Weddings. I love watching the story unfold, and capturing all of the details and romance of the day. I strive to make the couple a custom album that shows how unique & special their day was; after all of the planning I think the couples want something that truly reflects the individuality of their wedding. My style is a mix of traditional & photojournalistic. My early roots taught me how to pose and raising kids taught me to capture the spontaneity of the moment.

I’ve always enjoyed giving back to the community, I’m a life member of Charlottesville-Albemarle Rescue Squad, and recently I’ve become involved with two wonderful groups where I can share my photographic talents. National Association of Charitable Photographers, serving Military Deployments, the critically ill, hardship cases & others. And I also volunteer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, an organization serving families dealing with infant bereavement, and critically ill children.

That’s me… dottied, check me out!

Enjoy some of Dottie’s great work:

Contact Dottie by calling (540)446-5485 or e-mail: resqartist@gmail.com . You can also learn lots more about her work and see tons more photos on her website and blog.

Guest Post by Billy Hunt

Wedding photography is expensive. Since, most people only get married once (fortunately), you can not really learn from experience. How do you know how to find the right photographer? Here are 3 questions to ask yourself, and 7 more to ask wedding photographers, so you can find the perfect person to capture your wedding.

Before you meet with anyone, there are three things you can ask yourself. They sound simple, but they will allow you to narrow the field down to a reasonable number of photographers to visit.

1. What is your budget?
Like all other aspects of your wedding, expect it to cost more then you might think. In our area, photography packages are between $2500-$7500 for a full time professional, with the most prestigious photographers charging more then $10,000.

2. What type of photography do you like?
It seems obvious, but look at several websites, and start to get an idea of the type of wedding photography you would like. Do you like the more iconic, formal pictures, or are you more interested in candids? Black and white, color, or a mix? Do you like images with a lot of Photoshop effects, or of a more photojournalistic nature?

3. Do you like the photographer?
This is most important. When you speak to the photographer, do they sound like the type of person you would want to spend a Saturday with? You will spend more time with your wedding photographer then anyone at the wedding. The personality of your wedding photographer will not only influence the day; your images will also reflect your irritation at being photographed by someone whose company you do not enjoy.

Now that you have narrowed it down to a few photographers to meet, enjoy this slide show and then you can check out the 7 questions you can ask the photographers you interview to help determine if they are right for you. Be sure to turn up your sound!

Seven Questions for Your Wedding Photographer:

1. How long have you been a wedding photographer? How many weddings do you photograph a year?
Experience counts. The longer a photographer has been in business, the more likely she or he will approach your wedding with a high level of professionalism.

2. Do I get to keep my negatives?
Reprints used to make up the bulk of a photographer’s salary. If you do not own your negatives, you need to take reprinting costs into account when you make your purchase.

3. Do you work with an assistant? If so, do they take pictures as well?
Having an assistant means the bride and the groom can be photographed separately, and there is less chance that something will be missed. Additionally, an assistant can help the “flow” of the wedding photography by allowing the primary photographer to better focus on taking pictures.

4. What sorts of packages and add-ons do you offer?
There is a printing revolution going on. Coffee table books, proof books, guest books, large mounted prints, DVD slideshows, even coffee cups and luggage tags are just a few of the options available for today’s images. What the photographer offers might sway your decision, especially if they are not giving you your negatives.

5. Can I look at/buy my images online?
Even if you are getting your negatives, it is nice to have a place to send friends and loved ones if they are interested in buying a print or just seeing your special day.

6. How long will it take to get my images/web page/books/negatives?
Some photographers return their images in a week, others a year. It is nice to know when you can expect to see the finished product.

7. Can I see the last wedding you photographed?
Many photographers are no longer up to speed on the latest technologies and/or trends. Recent work may not be as strong as what may be shown on a web site.

They say that after the wedding is finished, all you have left is the images and your memories. Make sure you take the time and effort to find the right photographer. Your photos will be better, and your
wedding will too.

About Billy:

Billy Hunt is an artist who is personally committed to capturing the memories of your wedding in exquisite detail. From conception to
final print, every step in the process is handled with loving intent and mastery. His work is considered elegant, contemporary, and perhaps most important, not “cheesy.”

Contact Info. for Billy Hunt Photography:
~ phone: 434-872-0178
~ e-mail: billy@billyhunt.com
~ website: http://www.billyhunt.com
~ blog: http://billyhunt.com/blog

Imago pre-marital counseling can prepare you for the trip!

GUEST POST by Judith Minter, LCSW

I remember when I was growing up that it was common then for all little girls to dream of their wedding day as being the most beautiful day of their lives when they would be marrying ‘Prince Charming’ and would live, yep- you guessed it- ‘happily ever after.’ Millions of little girls play-acted this scene complete with veil, flowers from the neighbor’s yard, and their young friends as bridesmaids. In those days, little attention was paid to the ‘ever after’, even among adults, and it was assumed that once you married that the rest would take care of itself. The marriage ceremony was the destination.

Now, we have grown to know that the relationship between two committed people is really a marvelously exciting journey with no end destination. As part of the painful knowledge gained by the high divorce rate of the 70s, 80s and 90s, we have learned that marriage takes work and that it takes two committed people to do that work. The relationship journey is really the destination.

Think of it like a garden with the wedding being the finished product of the landscaper and his workers. It looks beautiful with much color and vitality. It pleases the viewer to no end. But as we know after the landscaper and his workers leave, for the garden to remain vibrant and alive, care and nurturing must continue or the garden will wither and die and be taken over by weeds. We must lovingly attend to it and water it to maintain the original beauty and to encourage healthy new growth. So it is with marriage.

Growth continues to happen after marriage, both for each individual and as a couple. The two single individuals who married have to learn to be a couple and to identify as a couple without sacrificing their sense of individuality. This is not so easy. Our partner holds the mirror for us to see our rough edges that we carry into our relationship. Most of us are allergic to that, but this is a natural and necessary part of the developmental stages a couple must pass through on their relationship journey.

More and more engaged couples are seeking pre-marital counseling to gain knowledge and skills to be better prepared to handle the normal challenges and changes a marriage will inevitably face. They are aware that committed relationships take work, not only to maintain them, but to enrich and deepen the connection over time. They recognize that gaining skills to handle these challenges is an investment in the health of their relationship and their family.

Some of the skills and knowledge gained in pre-marital counseling are:

• How to continue the important work of nurturing our partner and our relationship,
• Effective communication skills, especially for those ‘difficult’ discussions (money, children; religion; sex; decision making, misunderstandings, etc)
• Awareness of:
  • the expectations each brings to the relationship;
  • the patterns each brings to the relationship, especially noticeable when stressed, that disconnect;
  • our partner as really being a separate individual who often has different experiences from us;
• Skills to bridge the gap when misunderstanding occurs;
• What really attracts us to our partner;
• How to create a satisfying partnership and live in couplehood,

And more…..

In Imago Relationship Therapy, we see all of these areas as golden opportunities for growth. To us, when conflict appears, it is growth trying to happen. How else would we notice where we need to grow without a little discomfort? It invites us to know ourselves better. It invites us to know our partner more fully and with more depth and understanding. It invites us into a deeper sense of partnership as we work through these areas. It offers us the road to take to enrich our connection and our future together. It creates a vibrant and healthy ‘ever-after’.

CONTACT INFO. for Judith Minter, LCSW:
Judith has been certified as an Imago Relationship Therapist since 2000, and is a Certified Imago Couples’ Workshop Presenter. As soon as the materials are published, she will present day-long pre-marital Imago workshops. She is in private practice
~ address: 100 East South Street, Charlottesville
~ phone: 434-971-4747, ext. 114
~ website: www.CreatingAuthenticRelationships.com (currently being remodeled)
~ email: jminter@cpatherapy.com